April 26

This pandemic has surely taken a toll on my mental health.

Its been more than one month since the start of the ECQ (Enhanced Community Quarantine).  I can't believe that I will be witnessing an occurrence as historic as this one. Malls, public transportation, schools, and work are suspended. Everyone is expected to stay home to avoid catching this very contagious virus, not lethal but very infectious.

It is a very sad situation, living in a country whose capacities are not enough to support people affected by this invisible enemy. I am frightened by how the government of this country is beginning to exhibit their incompetence, their selfishness, and their lack of empathy for the people who compose this nation. There are, however, officials that can be part of the exemption. Many might say that this is the first time that this country has experienced this but I strongly doubt that as an excuse for their continuous showcase of incompetence. 

I hated the fact that I've thought of migrating just because of what's happening. It hurts me a lot that I am doubting the capacity of this country to become a better one. I hate that I no longer trust the people, the system, and the nation. 

I fail as a citizen. I hated myself for the betrayal I want to do. Its a struggle being someone insignificant, being someone as a part of the system which has no hope of being better. I no longer know how I will trust myself, it is scary how my youth is starting to be taken away and how it melts along with the ideologies and the positive spirit which was my ultimate inspiration to serve this nation. 

I hope this will be over soon.